Dreams of me.

So I was sleeping, dreaming as one does, I was at a party, and who should I bump into there but me.

And I try to pretend, that it isn't me, but it really is. 

It's kind of embarrassing, awkward, annoying and definitely improper to meet myself like this. 

But there I am and I can't seem to get out of my own way. So I figure maybe it's a sign, maybe I've got something I need to tell myself, in person.

Only one way to find out, I corner myself deliberately intently focused, maybe for the first time, watching from an outside point of view.

To discover, I am much more that I ever knew.

 Then I'm falling, for myself this time, in quite an ultimate way.

And the Look of Love in my own eyes, is something I hope to never forget. 

inside out

The days twist through my fingers 

like shreds of something I should remember but don't.

And the lessons that I might have learn't, 

but wont, 

slip from my fragile grasp of reality.

But this time I don't care what it means;

         Don't care to come, 

or move so quick, 

to catch life as she flies wildly by.

I can't explain it, 

but I feel it all from the inside of everything.

        My heart, 

which is your heart now, 

want's it all.

ten percent of nothing

It's the little things that get to me,
and what you don't say that makes me think.

because in the end theres nothing that I wouldn't give you,
and nothing that I can.

Image- nothing will be alright by Brooke Reynolds

the who of us

I wont do what we always do.
I wont let our love be a battleground that kills us both.

I want to come to you with my arms full of gifts and my heart full of love,
So in these times when I feel nothing we must both wait.

I like to hear the sound of your voice softly calling,
but I'm not quite finished drinking this desert yet.

You are Here

There's holes inside that make me who I am, I'm scared that if you get too close, you'll fall right in and disappear there. Like I did.

Image from underwater ballet series by Nadia Moro

Dreams on Light

1.

First there is the time and the space but more than that the need,

("What is your burning desire?"), to be. 

you taught me the pleasures of darkness, to let my eyes close and still see,

Leaning into the stillness I gather the sweet strength from the inside of everything.

Where alone becomes all one -

and when the lights come on I discover you were with me all along.

2.

Somehow I strayed from the path,

 just a small misturn while my mind was somewhere else

I thought I could retrace it but first I wondered where it went.

And I am lost but for now unconcerned, because everywhere is connected somehow right?

3.

The world of flux and change gathers me closer, and further than I thought it could.

and it gets so dark so quick,

 I want to phone you to come get me but I can no longer see my hand.

No longer sure if I exist at all, 

Until I open my eyes and awaken to another dream of light.

-----------------------

Image: What Light dreams by Koh Sang Woo

surely not

I used to be one of those people who could use the word love with certainty- I knew what it was.

That it was good,

 that it was everything, 

that it was all that mattered and all that ever would.

And now I'm not so sure of anything, 

even if for that, 

I should thank or fear you.