Disproof of everything

what I don't say could never fill all the spaces between us, and I'm already closer than you think.
what I don't know is how to make you believe,
in the gravity I'm falling right through.
 how I'm trying
but the words are all deformed and disproven before they even reach my lips
black with my dark heart , my lonely bloodied beating joy,
gasping for the oxygen to fan these flames;
how can I kiss you with a mouth full  ash?

Enough

I come from a long line of people
well practised in the art of
not wanting too much.

And although I can only see into the near distance
I can feel in my cells,
the turning of years disturbed;
all past presents
and every way it might mean.

The impossible fragility of living and dying
the constant pressure of air
to breathe
and be
maybe....
Enough

Time backs up
fists balled
cornered in relief
like she's been waiting patiently all her life for this.
tears mixed in equal measure of joy and grief.

I was not asleep
yet I was dreaming,
you were mercy's hands
holding that place where I could not reach
where I need
where I breathe
and shit gets real.

Paitence

I will keep on talking
so long
that I will forget
it is my own voice I am hearing.

letters to the dead

It's always the same poem I am writing
it's always to you.

I wrestle with the voices in my head
trying to get them to say
what's in my heart.

Indelible Light

and the weather says I'll always be here
always changing
Always finding new ways to let you know
how much I feel you
How real you really are.
xo

Mercy

between a rock and a soft place
I bury my head
ignorance finding me both unready and unwilling
painting my nails a new shade of golden blue

My buried head breathes and eats the dust of the earth
a remedy for both forgetting or remembering.
A line in the sand, holding too close together everything and nothing.
In Love with a God I'm not sure I want to forgive.