Tuesday, October 30, 2012

in other news, there was nothing of substance to hold on to
and here, in this body
I am lost
each breathe escaping my grasping hands
bubbles of a life I once thought was mine.

a sweet and lonely sensation
as the mermaids song sinks right through me
convincing me that science is probably wrong
and I can breathe water if I want to.

I thought I could make them love me
that you could keep my heart safe from myself.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Maybe you mistake me for someone else

In the end there's nothing left to say
that I haven't already said
and the truth is that no body cares
least of all me
about the colour of my eyes
or why I am sad.

Nobody cares, least of all me,
How I don't believe I can have what I want;
and maybe I don't even deserve it.

Why does it matter why?
I grow impatient with my own questions
and tears of self indulgent pity
Because I am tired,
and I would rather speak with the beat of my heart
than whisper with my fingers
tracing my minds circles through space.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

fettering fleeting thoughts

I'm sorry that I take all this time,
I hide it under my bed
while I dream up
what I can tell you;
how words might fit
(like a captured photo)
to these things that rush right through me.
and so I lay careful traps in my own mind
where I wait,
hoping to catch my own drift.
to make it worth our while
to think at all.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The one of Us

bumping into myself in all the wrong places
and I'm sitting here staring into the faceless glow of our quiet communion
muttering to myself and I search for the meanings I want you have
so that maybe you can help me feel this
wrong just right
just a strange bird scratching in the sand
my awkward song
of hungry sighs
and hopeless loads of Love

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Amoral Prude

still both too late and too early
but the fact that I flinch is more reflex than choice.
I understand what I want to hear
and want it to mean everything
to everybody
but mostly I just want you 
all of you absofuckinglutely.
I want to speak clearly once if only to myself here
how this feels
Hashing over questions I doubt I'll ever have the nerve to ask
like wondering, since I am already old
how in hell I'm going to ever grow up.