Nevertheless

I wanted to believe in more,
but I have to feel it all inside me first.
You move too fast around me,
The hands reaching out to hold you pass right through,
The lights blur the music fades to a quiet moan.
Deserving everything sticking like glitter
To the roof of my mouth
On a bad day
How nobody knows if this is for real.

Crash Hot

Crushed

by the weight of my own skin

it's hard to dance in wooden pants

turning round fallen trees

on moving ground

the earth around us sings 

of things

I said I'd rather not but did

because we can't believe 

That God would mess this up 

to prove he didn't Love me. 

So that I can tell hunger from thirst.

Done the hours of careful deliberation
of midnight whispers calculated against the sleepless hours
now I think on the go,
I heave my heart into my mouth again and again
against all odds
to make you see
it doesn't matter
just open your mouth and believe.

who wants to be saved forever?

I tried to hard
but at least we ain't dead yet
now I will only say, what comes quickly and with out conjecture
even if I don't know what that really means
cause if we keep moving,
 they'll be no time like the present
they'll just be the present
and nobody,
nobody can save us now.

The place where thoughts go to die

deeper than how you dream to mean it,

we wear these skin and bones away

not growing up nor old, 

time moves around 

but there are things those hands will never touch,

like you touch me,

and wanting, 

More.

This That I Live and I die for

The Words this tongue cant twist to sound

even if I did mean it,

everything I know and nothing

feeling the way

this oxygen you call life is simply fuel

on fire.

unlovely

Maybe none of us deserve to be loved, but I can't help but feel what I feel.

When the worst comes to the worst, we keep moving.
Things change, the hands on the clock keep moving back to now and again.
And everything I wanted feels closer than what I have.

Maybe I am unlovely, but I'm not going to let that stop me loving you.

The girl who knew everything

didn't know she'd grow into a woman who wished she knew nothing at all.

And how not being afraid to die, wasn't the same as not being afraid to live.

And I still don't understand anything,
I still want you more than I can bear.

image by Sarolta Ban

what went wrong.

I'm sorry that I can't be sorrier.
Sure I lied, but everyone did, it's how we survived.
We didn't even really know we didn't know, what the truth is.
It wasn't fair, but maybe one day it will be.
I didn't know what I wanted, but now at least I know it isn't this.

De Ja You.

If I only know one thing God, Please let it be you.

not so good at conversation

You might not understand
how the sky is talking to me
making anything I could say seem so little and so bland
you might not notice how the air rushes to be inside us
eroding with each breath a little more soul.

But I do, and thats why I can't make the sense that you want
Why I don't have a full attention to give you.