Oxyfuckingmoronstill both too late and too early
but the fact that I flinch is more reflex than choice.
I understand what I want to hear
and want it to mean everything
but mostly I just want you
all of you absofuckinglutely.
I want to speak clearly once if only to myself here
how this feels
Hashing over questions I doubt I'll ever have the nerve to ask
like wondering, since I am already old
how in hell I'm going to ever grow up.