Saturday, April 30, 2011

infinite funk

heart yawning bigger than the God Damn sun
dramatically dreaming that I didn't deserve
heaven on a stick
revolving around and about me
sticking in between the spaces in between the spaces
of all of this
thats why it makes such perfect sense
To dance.

Friday, April 29, 2011


How can I get where I'm going when I'm not sure if it even exists?
     I keep walking, but the earth turns against the momentum of gravity.
Saying this is real,
                           and watch your step girl.

   I lost sight of the horizon a long time ago now
     And the scenery waltzes by so slow and sweet it breaks all my feelings into more than I can chew.

This isn't poetry, this is a mess.
        falling down and about cause I've got nothing left to stand by.
  What good is your map when I don't want to know which way is up?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Master Plan

Can you Forgive God for making me so stupid that I could believe he got this all wrong?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stuck suxs

The love that I feel inside, I don't really know how to let it out.

Answering to nothing

As soon as I try to say what I feel the words wont keep up with the heart that thumps.
Broken for you to remember me always, incomplete.
 The cross references crucify my own drifting mind.
Where theres too many voices to hear myself think straight.
So here we go again, yet here we are.

Monday, April 25, 2011

drunk Dialling

I can still smell your aftershave
and I want to hate you
but I don't
so I just cry
because I want to believe you could love me
but I don't
so why should you?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Everything counts

the taste of loneliness  coats my tongue with wax
and these words roll
like water of a ducks back.

 the space under my fingernails filling with grit again
The stains on the carpet spread
not like her legs, no legs at all,
because  you can't stand to look at me now.

I wait inside for the tears that don't come
counting everything
 I tried, I keep on trying ,
And nothing keeps on changing
And nothing stays the same
but the taste of aloneness thats sweeter than you know.

Monday, April 18, 2011

if it doesn't matter make it

And in that moment I knew more than I could ever explain.

How the world no longer turned underneath us 
it turned into us, 
 and It turned me on.

Each atom reeling in this dance of light
through all my dreams, and inbetween the spaces in my soul
matted with meaning,  more than truth could bear to tell.
It felt so big that even Love itself might hurt,
 and God singing from inside me
how even If I could fail, 
even that was how we might succeed. 

Until sweet heavens sweat falling around us
soaks through all my senses 
turning tricks again
to make this more real
where what I want matters
 Not just to be happy, 
I said, 
 "I want it all".

Friday, April 15, 2011

The difference between us

I feel you, clutching at the air inbetween us,
and I wish I could be there for you to hold me.
But if I was out there, I couldn't be here inside your own heart now could I?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

introspectively out there

I'm sorry I could never really see you past my own face.
The way I feel right now, 
as if it wasn't my heart,
 it was the world that was breaking.

And my own soul feels like you, 
calls out through this mess of me I'm swimming in.
Pulling me deeper under my own skin, 
To this sweet insubstantial place inside of everything.

Photo by Kirsty Mitchell

Sunday, April 10, 2011

dreams are real

yesterday when I lay down, I was running away, like I always do, and yet there I was,  falling down, into my own arms, loving it. The need to escape from the need to escape, the circularity of all reason, to bring me back down, because if gravities not here then where then? 

I wrote it across the inside of my forehead and tattooed his name on the back of my hand, so I wouldn't remember what I wanted to forget. Like an elephant, fumbling, feeling my way, through the blindfold, larger than life itself, never quite able to sense the whole thing at once.

And all these other planes of consciousness catching my drift, and the miracles that didn't happen to me,  impossibly plausible excuses for living like I am. And all these choices I couldn't face to make, or wake to something other than this constant re-arranging my of molecular structure,  twisting through my DNA, to prove I never cared anyway, or do I?  

Image by Alex Stoddard

Saturday, April 9, 2011

deniable plausibility

Heres What I never should say,
what the words won't fit
and the feelings turn to ash,
heres the rush of wanting
and all the things I didn't want that happened anyway;
everything that makes no sense.
From this perspective there is no size at all,
all dots connected in this blurry image of God.
Do you think those night mares pause for the laws of grammar?
steam rolling over the point, to think of something else
Because it always has to be all or nothing,
And I tightened my soul like a fist against 
the will I didn't know how to deal
And in this web
I struggle 
knowing it's useless
and beautiful
and I want no choice at all.

Friday, April 8, 2011

another planet

Trust in me, he smiles
shaking my own hand
behind my own back
I haven't been gracious
because I didn't know how
But seeing as gravity has me pinned here
I guess i'll admit it's been fun.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I get it

I'm not waiting for anything
or any less
everything whispers
a constant roar
of worlds turning
of secrets burning
because when destiny called
she used my own voice against me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

inanimate objections

Everything's fine here,
I'm just talking to the wind.
I hear your questions, but the problem is I know all the right answers
aren't always the true ones.
And you wouldn't understand,
because I don't.
how fine that line really is.

I wanted to say more
But this is what happened
I wanted to keep it real,
but it twisted in my own mind
so I no longer recognise my own hand here.
I want to be seen like you do
But not here, not now, not like this.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Don't worry, be happy.

Maybe this end of the world is exactly what we've all been waiting for,
maybe then we can get on to something better.