"I think I think I think" ad infinitum,
is a zen koan
an illogical loop
leading the willing mind into it's perfect trap
smack bang nowhere
falling off the edge of reason
until you nothing and you like it.
xo

Okay

the video game of my body takes this familiar hallway like the opening credits,
on my way to register another log of discontent,
unraveling personal failure to conform real world into wishes.

The moment stumbles in my mind,
already the past, already forgetting,
wasting sweet time trying to explain a feeling that was never even mine to begin with.

Everything tangles so beautifully, take a photo, close and blurry:
profile; it's okay to be ugly to be wild to be dreaming and dying and to have just enough of a cold to make things uncomfortable.

To Make no Sense, no-one quietly knocking again and again. Whispering, Nothing is Everything, I love you but it's always going to be just like this.

Holding my heart in,
small pond sweet suffering,
Pain like the last name tied like a rock round my neck.

Late night research,
short trite answers in webs.
Forming my own myths on human hypothesis, from demi-Gods nobodies know. 

Love for the dying, breathing in secret
deep under water, tread lonely laugh lightly, right over my head like the rest.
Because his master plan won’t fit inside my hands, I will wash off the blood that was shed. And if his master plan still won’t fit inside this head I will sing to myself in your stead.