Be What you want

I know what I want
And I have what I want
Because I am what I want.

Life's betrayal

breathing sleeping dreaming in

my body breaking 

sorry

for all the mess

the sounds and the smells too close to be my own anymore

desire itself

of and for being 

here and there 

and everywhere

as you kiss me 

and my skull caves in.

Deaths Ghost

lurching through hallways
The wheels go clunk
and everything
I do wrong
is wrong
an unforgivable unlovable feeling
of my immeasurable sadness
closing her fingers around my heart
sure at last
of the one thing
I never wanted to know.

Godless Promise

Let me fall down
and my heart break
so that the world can get all the way inside me.
Let me let go of holding on
and sadness frame this grief
without your name.

And I will love the life of my death
all the way back from eternity to you,
to the time the clocks will never tell
disordered perfectly
as if nothing always happened
just like this.

till death himself grows old

And if there was anything I could still say and still mean it 

Heaving heart to grasp a hold of everything I could ever want

If I could pause the world and show you how to feel 

deaths gentle hand fingering through, the things I believed

insistently echoing that first breath again and again

Riding the ravishing tiger of time right through me.

embodyment

I want you to listen to my silence
and to intone it into everything you say.
I want to feel your Love
patient and warm, underneath my own skin.
I want the air that you breathed me,
gushing untrammelled down my throat
I want your song pouring silken from my lips
I want you to know how I love you
how it breaks my heart
sweetly and completely
into this
commune - ity
of open soul

photo: nature owns my soul-  Disturbed MaveRick

knowing nothing

You say you understand and you probably even think that it's true,
But you don't, you don't.
You really don't.
And until you know that;
you never will.