I wrote it across the inside of my forehead and tattooed his name on the back of my hand, so I wouldn't remember what I wanted to forget. Like an elephant, fumbling, feeling my way, through the blindfold, larger than life itself, never quite able to sense the whole thing at once.
And all these other planes of consciousness catching my drift, and the miracles that didn't happen to me, impossibly plausible excuses for living like I am. And all these choices I couldn't face to make, or wake to something other than this constant re-arranging my of molecular structure, twisting through my DNA, to prove I never cared anyway, or do I?
Image by Alex Stoddard
I have an interpretation of what this is about and Im not saying it's close to whatever it is.
ReplyDeleteIn that framing, I dont see it as something to care about unless it really bothers you. I have this dream existence of being with somebody like but I know it wouldnt be perfect, just maybe more interesting. But I think I know about
not making choices, and just being to some degree and importantly that although some postmodern philosophers might think me crazy for thinking some people can shut down too much im very aware of that, and athough I never personally got to that point yet,only some freakish awareness and perhaps brain chemisty has kept me away from there. Now, please understand im not implying its bad to not be involved with doing lot of so called productive and social things at all, just saying tha in the context of what my interpretation is, I think of myself as being in a siiar place. Its probably dumb of me to say this all, but you know I just had coffee and cant stop typing ...until now because I think what I say likely has nothing to do with your post. One thing is for certain, your blog is really good and ai know i enjoy reading it and there'sno doubt that youre a talented and thought provoking writer either imo :)
I thanked the Sun today.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't talk back with words
but I feel it.
Thank you too. I won't ever forget
the first time I found this blog
A single post that I imagined
as having something to do with me
and how I felt and still feel
Life is good, and really weird :)
<3
The weather here today was a perfect combination of warm sun and fresh breeze, it was a winning combination. And that along with a good dream I had yesterday are helping me to face up to some mildly self destructive habits I've been fostering.
ReplyDeleteWasn't that you who along time ago left like 22 comments in one night once!
I am glad you like my blog, it means a lot to me that it makes sense to at least a few other people.
Life is Good and weird for to be sure. xo
Im glad to hear that. I had a nice couple days here but havent had a memorable dream in awhile.
ReplyDeleteumm ... no that wasnt m...umm....yes it was me:(
gee whiz, you didnt have to give the number :)))
Im ashamed of a lot of that stuff I wrote and I wasnt exactly sober as I remeber that time period...so if some computer bug or blogger glitch were to delete those posts I certainly wouldnt put up a fuss about it!
I think of that as a failed experiment and a learning experience and as I got to liking your blog more and more I thought of that incident as very unfortunate. Your sticks post was really great and afterwards I thought how my bizzare reaction in comments took away from the beauty and intensity of the thoughts in your message. I can still kind of hear the feeling of that post in my head sometimes :)
Well I must confess I'm not sure I ever made it the whole way through all of them, due to my Gemini nature and short attention span, but I like them never the less. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a looking back mood tonight but every now and again I like to peer into the depths and remember.
if you do look back, keep in might be some kind of secret code...that must be painstakeingly deciphered to be comprehended...i mean really I hope thats what it was and i just forget now due to my failing memory ! :)))
ReplyDelete